YOUTH
So you want to be a V!
Rev Jasper Sim, PIC,
No, I am not referring to the popular TV series, V, now on Channel 5. I am referring to being a Volunteer in the youth ministry. This is despite the fact that we often feel more like a visitor than a volunteer. We “visit” the youth ministry and see how our teens are doing. We gravitate towards other adult volunteers who are there because we are fearful of speaking to youths. And even when we venture out to speak to our youths, we might be greeted with a mild indifference or even deep suspicion. Who can blame them since they grow up thinking that every adult who wants to talk to them has an agenda?
Before becoming a pastor, I was once a youth volunteer. And it wasn’t easy. Without having the luxury of time and energy, my involvement was largely during the youth fellowship and camps. Half the time, I didn’t know what my teens were thinking; the other half of the time, I was trying to understand what my teens were saying.
It doesn’t have to be so difficult talking to our teens. That is because our job is first to listen to them. Teens don’t care how much you know but they want to know how much you care. Caring for them is to listen to them, to be with them (even in silence), to keep your word with them and to just hang silly around them. Caring for them is to admit that we don’t have all the answers: we are not perfect but God still loves us and is transforming us day by day. Caring for them is to empathise with them (we were teens once), cry with them and treat them the way you would treat yourself.
We see this in the life of Jesus. In John 1:35-40, we see Christ inviting the first disciples to spend a day with him. Why doesn’t Jesus just go - “Aha, it is as John the Baptist has said. I am the Lamb of God. I am the Messiah. Believe me.” Wouldn’t that be easier and more efficient than spending a day with them? It might be, but Jesus chose not to do that. He chose to spend the day with the disciples to engage them in conversation.
We sometimes fall into the trap of telling our youths what they should know (transference of knowledge), rather than listening and clarifying what they know. The former takes little time while the latter may take “a day”. If you think about it, most people prefer spending the day with a friend than with a dictionary.
The end result of the first disciples’ one day fellowship with Jesus is their confession of faith – Jesus, You are the Messiah. Isn’t that what we desire to see for our youths too? It can happen when we learn to take the time to engage our youths in conversation rather than trying to convert them by telling them what to do!
Jim Hancock in his book, “How to volunteer like a pro” suggests three best questions to engage youths in conversation are:
What? What do you think happened? What stood out for you? Did anything surprise you? Describe it to me. Tell me about it.
Why? So what? Why is that significant for you? Why do you think it happened? Tell me more about that.
How? Now what? How do you plan to respond? How will that make a difference? How does that change things? Tell me what you intend to do about that.
The beauty of these three questions is that they are not meant to persuade, challenge or compel; they are meant to clarify. And that helps us to engage our youths where they are and help them take the next step forward.
Volunteering in youth ministry does not have to be difficult. In fact, it can be very rewarding, especially when we see our youths growing in Christ. And we realise we are no longer V.